Friday

 It was a chaotic start to the trip, with the group chat abuzz with messages from people who had arrived early, people who had arrived late, and people on different flights—the usual. When my bag got stopped at security and put at the end of a long line, Sensei Roy marched up to one of the security staff and said, “Are you aware this young lady is going to miss her flight?” They promptly moved it to the front of the queue. I kept my mouth shut. Once through security, there were greetings and excited faces. I think many of us were eager to escape the perpetual grey that had been the UK’s weather for the last month.

The flight to Malta was only three hours, and we were welcomed at the airport, as always, by Sensei Dario, head of JKA Malta. He gifted us with lovely, cosy neck warmers that doubled up as beanies. There were attempts to gather all forty of us for a group picture, which I think everyone enjoyed. It was then a coach ride through the familiar arid landscape to our hotel in St Paul’s Bay.

There was a minor drama at the hotel as we tried to get everyone into their rooms. First, there was only one poor woman at reception left to deal with the forty of us who had just rocked up. Then, there was much confusion over how the door locks worked, as they used an electronic keypad. Unfortunately, after three mistakes, the keypad would start making angry noises and lock you out. Many of us, unfamiliar with the mechanism, were tripped up by this- including me and Amelia. Embarrassed, we had to track down the manager to reset the lock for us. When we asked him if this happened often, he replied, “Sometimes, but usually to pensioners.” Just what every 22-year-old wants to hear. By some miracle, everyone made it into their rooms in time to change into gis. We met back down in the lobby, eager for our first training session.

There were reunions with the Maltese, and then it was straight down to training. Sensei Ken led this session, focusing on improving the basics. We worked on going from zero to ten in terms of power and speed and relaxing our leg muscles to increase speed. At one point, we had to balance on one leg and punch as hard as we could. We were all in awe of his demonstrations- he was so fast and so sharp.

To finish the session, Sensei Ken had us pair up. One person in each pair had to do a handstand and do press-ups while the other held their ankles in place. He demonstrated this flawlessly, then looked up with a grin and said, “Your turn.” Most of us stood there in horror, though some brave souls launched themselves forward to be caught. Amelia and I tried with very limited success- we kept ending up on the floor- a far cry from the grace of Sensei Ken. We finished the session rather bruised.

After training, a group of us went for dinner, which was a great opportunity to catch up with people from our club and get to know people from other clubs. Everyone was knackered and headed to bed soon after.

Saturday

It was an early start for beach training in the morning. As we boarded the coach, there were some nervous glances at the ominous black clouds looming overhead. It was a short drive to Golden Bay Beach, framed by rocky terrain overgrown with Mediterranean shrubbery. Despite the grey skies and the first drops of rain, it was beautiful. Sensei Dario led the session, starting with a brisk warm-up. One exercise had us practise kicking while standing shoulder to shoulder, in alternating directions, and holding the belts of the people on either side. It was an effective way to limit unnecessary movement while kicking. Damp sand went flying, rainwater ran down my face, and I could not help but laugh at how surreal it all felt.

As the rain and wind picked up, I wondered if reason wouldn’t have us postpone the session and seek shelter. But this was a karate Gashuku- reason is rarely a factor. Sensei Dario told us to imagine that we were soaked with sweat, not rain, and that was that. Meanwhile, Sensei Ken kindly sent a picture to the group chat of himself enjoying a full English in the shelter of the café, captioned, “Enjoying your beach training in the rain?”

We moved on to kumite drills, where one partner knelt in the sand and had to block while the other punched. Sensei Dario had to remind the overly eager not to kick, lest anyone get a face full of sand. Next, we practised the kata Meikyo, which was new to many of us. Sensei Dario guided us through, piecing it together section by section. By now, the rain had stopped, and we practised this until we could do it without the count.

Next, Sensei Dario broke the kata back down into sections to demonstrate the applications of the moves. Each part of the kata was used to defend against a different form of attack, from having your wrists grabbed, to being attacked with a bottle. It was fascinating, and as always, everyone jumped at the chance to throw their friends in the sand. Behind Amelia and me, Sensei Chris and Jon were practising, and every thirty seconds or so, one of them would go flying past. For our safety, we decided to move to an emptier stretch of beach. Some of the applications were particularly lethal and painful to have done to you, even with your opponent going slowly and carefully. When someone asked Sensei Dario how you would defend against such a counterattack, he gave them a sightly pained look and suggested not attacking someone that way in the first place.

As the session wrapped up, we even caught a glimpse of sun. Once we were finished, everyone ran for the sea. The blue water was so clear you could see the fish flash past. Though the water was warm enough to swim in, I was still grateful for a hot coffee afterwards. The coach took us back to the hotel, and we had a few hours to ourselves before evening training. Amelia, Dad and I spent them with falafel and halloumi wraps by the seafront, taking in the view and strolling along the bay. They were particularly impressed, not by the sea views or old fort, but by a digger. Each to their own.

I could feel stiffness creeping in by the time we arrived at the dojo for evening training. Such feelings were quickly chased away by the 100 bicycle sit-ups in Sensei George’s warm-up. Sensei Roy led the evening session, focusing on kumite and emphasising the importance of pushing backwards off your supporting leg, else you may end up with a fist in the face. Much of what he taught built on the concepts Sensei Ken had introduced in Friday’s session. It was interesting to get a different Sensei’s take on the same concepts. We applied the movements to various blocks and then put it into practise in some kumite drills. I ended up partnered with Sensei Ken at one point and tried not to be too visibly relieved when Sensei Roy started moving people around based on height, only to then end up facing Nicole. I honestly don’t know who was scarier! Just in case anyone had any remaining energy, Sensei George wrapped up the session with 100 mae geri kicks in his warm down.

We had some time to shower and change before all heading out for the party. The restaurant was located at the end of a long, dark alley, which certainly raised a few eyebrows. Inside, we were seated at three long tables, and people quickly took advantage of the open bar. Certain suspicions arose about the group in the room next to us, that I will not go in to. The food was served in courses, starting with a platter of meats and cheese and, to everyone’s enthusiasm, snails. This was followed by a pasta dish as a starter. Then the main course was brought out: a traditional Maltese spread of ribs, rabbit meat, and horse meat.

After the food, people stood around chatting while Nicole and Liane wacked the music up, encouraging people onto the dance floor. The room divided into groups: the mostly younger people dancing and the others hanging back. There were notable exceptions such as Sandra, who danced with us and even joined us with some jaeger shots. I was trying very hard to forget that my dad was on the other side of the room, an attempt sabotaged by Amelia when she pulled him towards the dancers. Traitor.

The coach took us back to the hotel, and then some of us went to a karaoke bar where Sensei Ken entertained everyone with his rendition of ‘Sweet Caroline’. The whole night felt completely surreal; it was like going out with your teachers. Amelia gleefully reminded Sensei Roy, “You’ve known us since we were nine!” I think he was pleased to be rid of us at the end of the night.

Sunday

Mercifully, Sunday’s session started much later than yesterday’s. Some slightly worse for wear people trooped down to the café for some much-needed coffee before our final session. Sensei George led a gentler warm up than yesterday, informing us “I’ve been told not to kill you this morning,” which was much appreciated. The Sunday training focused on kata, with an hour dedicated to studying each one.

Sensei Ken led the first hour with Tekki Shodan, emphasising the importance of a solid stance. I think we all felt for Sensei Etienne when Sensei Ken decided to demonstrate the first move of tekki on him, especially if it felt anywhere near as painful as it sounded. At the end of the hour, we all demonstrated the kata- coloured and brown belts first, then black belts. When finally, the Maltese national squad demonstrated their katas, we were all in agreement when Sensei Ken said, “watching that made me happy”.

There was a brief interlude for the certificate ceremony, where everyone was presented with a certificate for participating in the 2024 Malta Gashuku. Group pictures were taken, so those leaving early were free to go. Sensei Roy led the second hour of training, focusing on Tekki Nidan. He broke it down into sections, with an emphasis on the moving the leg up and round, which he got Nicole to demonstrate for us. He had her to do it again and again until the timing of the block in relation to the foot landing was perfect. He talked us through the importance of breathing when bowing: inhaling on the way down, exhaling at the bottom, inhaling again on the way up, and then exhaling when announcing the kata. There were lots of small adjustments to be made: looking in the right direction, breathing and expansion and contraction of back muscles.

Sensei Dario led the final hour, doing Heian Shodan with a twist. Instead of the usual kata, with each block we would simultaneously punch, and with each punch, we would simultaneously block. Each block changed based on the attacking technique. It was a bit of a muddle as everyone adjusted to this new take on a familiar kata, but it was good fun. This was when I accidentally went backwards into the crate at the back of the hall, though luckily for me, I think only Liane noticed.

To finish, we did a kumite drill where Sensei Dario would call a number from one to four. When he called the number, the attacker would do the corresponding punch, and the defender would have to block with rising block or gedan block. It was surprisingly difficult without the option of some of the default blocks.

There was a big round of applause for the Senseis at the end of the session. I think everyone felt they had learnt a lot to take away and practise. The rest of the day was ours for exploring, shopping, or, in the case of some, sleeping. We browsed shops, got ice cream and walked down to the seafront to watch the sunset. A group of us went for dinner in the evening. Dad had the directions and charged off in front, leading the group on a somewhat disorientating route. Some of us were trailing behind, feeling quite stiff, and were dismayed at the sight of a massive flight of stairs. Spirits were lifted when Sensei Chris shouted from the top “Don’t worry, there’s an elevator!”, only to plummet when a chorus of laughter followed from above. The food at the restaurant was lovely and Dad and Sensei Michael kept us entertained with a heated debate. They went straight for the most pressing political issue of 2024; an economist’s parking fine. To lower the temperature, the conversation was steered onto AI. Much good that did; it ended with Dad shouting about a “granite chicken” and having to be hushed.

Monday

There was another early start to get to the airport. I particularly enjoyed Sensei Roy standing at the front of the coach, calling out people’s names like a teacher on a school trip checking he had all his kids. It was a nervy dash through the airport to catch our flight, but we made it fine. The trip back was smooth. Once back in the UK, we said our goodbyes and dispersed, another eventful Malta trip over. I want to say a big thank you to all the Senseis and everyone who made the trip happen- what an amazing experience!

I arrived first and was met by the warm and generous Sensei Dario. We were sooned joined by Sensei Larsen. He had only just got back from 10 days in Japan but seemed completely unphased given this and the fact he had taken 3 flights to get from Norway to Malta. The arrival of Sensei Roy, Sandra, Rose and Jacob half an hour later completed the group. Thankfully there were no repeat of the mishaps of a couple of years ago when a member of the party forgot his bags and tried to go back through security. Given the jittery state of things internationally and in Malta, this was just as well.

Malta as usual was sunny and warm although perhaps without the level of humidity we've sometimes experienced. We booked into the Hotel Santana in the St Paul's Bay area of Malta near Bugibba. Checking in done, we freshened up in our rooms before meeting at the bar. We were greeted by the soulful tones of the Spice Girls singing Wannabe. Nice. This perhaps set the tone for the rest of the evening. A nostalgic trip through memory lane. We were joined by the lovely Rita, Nicole and Lianne and went to a pleasant fish restaurant by the harbour. The fact that people were smoking in the restaurant took us all back to the heady days of smoked filled offices, pubs and train carriages.

Food was excellent, but perhaps not fully to the taste of Sandra, especially as she watched Rose slurp down an oyster. Everyone's appetites were further enhanced by Rose's story of various encounters with pot plants in a nightclub during a hen night.

There was a pleasant walk back to the hotel where most went to bed leaving four of us to retire to the bar for a nightcap. The hotel bar was clearly an area where there was an anomaly in space time. As wafts of Wannabe drifted through the air, the conversation got more surreal. I was still struggling with Rose's explanation of the benefits of getting your head kicked in when Sensei Roy started explaining his experimentation with the 1930's. This centred around old style phones with dials. I sensed bewilderment and uncertainty in the young eyes of Rose. Phone's with dials? Had Sensei finally lost the plot? Her confusion was increased when Sandra and I started talking about the excitement of getting new trim phones.

The sound of the Spice Girls was now being replaced with the echos of Alvin Stardust and Suzie Quattro emanating from the past. Rose was floundering. She had visions of Sensei Roy dialing a number, getting the 7th one wrong and having to redial the whole thing again cursing. Her mind was pounding.

I called out to her. "Rose, Rose, stay with us". Alas, Sensei Roy mentioned his paper address book with phone numbers. The confusion in Rose's face increased and turned into panic. Suddenly she was being pulled into the vortex. She was facing forces far greater than she could comprehend. She strained to reach out. Fighting it was futile. Rose was taken from us into a parallel dimension. As I looked on helpless, I thought I just caught a glimpse of Davis through the vortex.

As she dissappeared, Sensei Roy turned around slightly exasperated. "Where has she gone now?"